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11 May 2010 @ 02:11 am
its been a WHILE since ive blogged.  me and trey broke up for over a month, we still are broken up technically but im at his place now.   he got his new house & is in the process of painting and stuff.

in other news, i got down to 126.6lbs for a while, now im hanging around 128 but its still less than 130 which is good.  im getting a membership to uscl's gym  friday when i get paid, ive got part of it saved up already.  my goal is 110 by this time next month, then 100 by the end of that month.

today was such a binge day - this morning i had 3 pieces of apple jelly toast.  then for lunch a serving of cheesy pasta with corn, broccoli and chicken along with a few bites of penne pasta in alfredo sauce, and a piece of texas toast (the freezer defrosted so they were cooking everything in it).  around dinner time i hung out with trey, i got a cookies & cream milkshake at the mall and a chicken strip plate with double mashed potatoes.

anyways i think everyones going to bed so im getting off here
Current Mood: boredbored
11 March 2010 @ 12:20 pm
Current weight: 129
Last week: --
Pounds lost this week: --
Pounds lost since start: --
Pounds left until 1st goal:
Pounds left until 2nd goal: 19
Pounds left until UGW: 29

im going to be updating this as i go.  i want to really stick to working out and dieting.  i plan to work out on the days i dont work (standing all day, to me, IS a work out, as long as i dont over-eat) and eat more healthy foods and less fattening ones.  speaking of work, i start today!  im so excited :)

im gonna go have some cereal and fruit or yogurt, not sure what im going to bring for lunch.  maybe ill eat before work and that be it?

okay so im catching myself - first thing that comes to mind is a PB&J sandwich.  the bread we have is about 200cals for 2 slices, the jelly would be about 60-90 cals, and if i skimp on the PB 100cals and 8g of fat.  a total of about 360 - 390 cals and 8g of fat.  pb&j's always seem so fattening to me, but after breaking it down it doesnt seem SO bad, but it isnt the best thing for me.  ugh im craving it now, im gonna have some cereal and something else to keep from eating one.
Current Mood: chipperchipper
07 March 2010 @ 01:55 am
today was okay.  i feel insanely fat though even though i dont think i should.  might just be bloated.  good news is that i got a call back from janice at DG and i pretty much have a job there :)

ate an egg shaped reesie cup this morning.  showered.  ate a banana.  waited on jo to come over.  ate a can of spaghetti-os and meat balls and half a can of raviolis (fat ass).  played tennis for about 45min to an hour.  went to walmart, got some make up (hard candy mascara SUCKS.) & my y.i. treatment, took jo home, watched "my life as liz" for an hour, got some chinese food (shrimp and garlic sauce - about 6-8 pieces of shrimp, a cup of broccoli, one mini corn, and half the rice it came with), jay came home and i rode with him to the store, came back, filled out online express application at DG, and now am journaling.

i need to fast.  i hate restricting.  or i need to purge more, since it gives me such energy.
Current Mood: awake
06 March 2010 @ 04:49 am
i REALLY want to get into restricting since its better in the long run than fasting.  when i get down to my goal weight ill do a  "high day/ low day" routine to help keep it off.

plan for tomorrow:
-wake up (12ish)
-shower, dress
-eat a banana, cereal, and/or a yogurt (yogurt - 110c,0gf.  banana - 105c, 0gf)
-grab a bottle of water & leave
-go pick up jo from practice 2-3ish
-tennis (3-4ish)
-banana after tennis
-walmart (hair dye, eyeliner, mascara (covergirl volume exact kind), y. infection stuff) (5ish)
-home, clean up room & do laundry
-have some broccoli with garlic powder & butter for dinner (broccoli - 50cal, 0gf, butter - 60cal, 6gf)
-watch movies the rest of the day to keep from eating anything else

total for day - up to 430cals & 6g fat

i need to work on some "make ahead meals".  or at least cook some foods and refrigerate or freeze them ahead of time.  something like that.  freezing individual portions would be cool to do, that way i can label the cals, fat, etc. in each serving so i can easily calculate it.  i need to stop eating so much fatty foods all the time.  first i need to get some freezer bags and make up a meal plan (what i can/cant have and when).

i think i might do that now :)

Current Mood: creative
04 March 2010 @ 12:20 am
today i had half a chicken strip (about 125 cal, 8g of fat), then some kfc - 2 servings of mashed potatoes (240cals, 8g of fat), 1 serving mac and cheese (180cals, 9g of fat) and a grilled chicken breast filet (a regular breast is 190cals & 6g fat so im estimating about the same, maybe less) so thats 735 cals and 31g of fat.  not counting a soda and a medium sweet tea.  if i only had the breast and one serving of potatoes it would have been about 310cals and 10g fat, not bad for a fast-food lunch.

oh! and i have a job interview tomorrow, so excited!!!
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
01 March 2010 @ 04:31 pm
yesterday i took abby to the park.  it was alot of fun but so exhausting,  the chilly weather made me even more tired for some reason.  we each had half a pb&j at the park, i drank strawberry kiwi life water (?) and she had a dr. pepper.  i should have gotten her a flavored water instead, i felt weird giving her a whole dr. pepper when she was playing.  anyway, after that we got ice cream, she had a sundae with oreos and i had a brownie-marshamallow-and-hot-fudge blizzard (small, ate most of it).  then we went to walmart to go grocery shopping.  i realise now why you dont take kids grocery shopping, such a pain.  got home, abby left with maw maw and i binged on cheese pizza bites & purged.  an hour or two after they left maw maw started having pains in her back right part of her chest and thought it might be something serious so i took her to the ER.  everything checked out fine, mom came to stay the night with her because they wanted to keep an eye out for the night.  on the way home around 1:30 i went by williams to see if he was home (my phone was dead and he was out playing cards i found out later) then went to crinco to get gas.  got a red velvet twinkie thing and ate it on the way home, ate spaghettios that night.

all together, it would be about 1040 cals, and 28.7g of fat.  without those fucking red velvet cakes it would have been more like 680cals and 8.7g of fat.  fucking fat piece of shit.

today ive eaten a cup of yogurt, which was at 1:30ish, 110cals and 0g fat.  im debating if i want to fast or have something healthy then go hang out with william to burn it off.  not sure yet.

i think im going to have a coffee and then go hang out with william, im taking jo to class and stuff and have to take the trash off so i should be able to keep busy for a while.
Current Mood: busy
intake - 6-7 girl scout cookies (not sure of the name,the peanut butter ones) and about a serving of alfredo, purged.  im staying a little over 128 now, 124 or 125 was my goal and i didnt make it.  128 isnt bad though, not amazing either.  my goal for next week is 123-124.

me and the bf are on a break.  again.  but this time i really want to leave him, but at the same time i dont.  i want him to know that i dont have to be with him, i just want him to appreciate me.  he makes it seem like its the hardest thing in the world to.  and im really getting tired of him lately, when he does something that he knows annoys me he continues till im ready to punch him in the face.  and if i do hit him or push him he hits or pushes back and bothers me even more.  im so tired of his bullshit.

i really want to date william for a while and see if things are compatible with us, but i dont even know if he wants to date me.  he really doesnt act like it.  idk.  im not sure what to do.  i really need to focus on getting a job right now more than anything.  i hate job hunting.
Current Mood: blankblank
24 February 2010 @ 04:16 pm
last night after the mac and cheese i also had a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of koolaide.  we started drinking (i had 7 shots of crown and half a coke) and i had some ice cream and sunchips.

today i had 4 pieces of popcorn chicken, 2 chicken fingers, and 3 or 4 hashbrowns (all baked, it came package frozen together) with some ketchup and water.  i never post what i drink but thats usually because i drink water all the time, not a fan of soda because it makes my teeth feel gritty.

i really need to go work out sometime today, be it walking or an actual work out.  hopefully an actual work out.  fasting till next meal which i hope is healthy and more low fat.
Current Mood: coldcold
23 February 2010 @ 09:10 pm
so yesterday i fasted then ate around 6:30.  had a heart candy, rice crispy treat, peanut butter & jelly sandwich, and a 60cal fiber added pudding cup.  before i ate i weighed 128.2, yay!  much better than 129.2 as it was a couple days ago.

today i had a serving of macaroni and cheese with hotdogs cut up in it.  i hate hotdogs, i can usually tolerate them in mac&cheese but these were all beef or something and the grease upset my stomach so i couldnt eat much of it.  then around 8 i had a peanut butter sandwich and came upstairs.  treys drinking and i really dont want to so thats why im not downstairs.
Current Mood: blahblah
so i fasted all day yesterday, was planning on fasting today butttt... that didnt happen :/.  started my fast around 9:45ish on friday, had a 60cal sugar free fiber added pudding (i didnt count it) around 11pm saturday, fasted all the way till about 3pm today.  so, not including the pudding, thats about... 41 hours and some change.  not too bad.  couldve done better, MUCH better, but not bad for my first completed fast in so long.

today i ate:

between 3:00 & 4:00 - 3 chocolate crunchy heart candies, 3 peanut butter girl scout cookies, peanut butter & jelly sandwich, scooby snack graham cracker packet & half a cup of milk.

between 6:20 - 7:00 - (from cicis pizza) 1.5 servings pasta with marinara, 1serving with alfredo, 3 pieces of garlic bread, 2 slices spinach alfredo pizza, and 2 slices of bbq pizza.

planning to fast again, trying for 2 full days this time.  started at 7pm sunday, ending 7pm tuesday (or longer :D) <-- double chin just like me :/

that plan of trying to make it to 124 on friday seems like its not gonna happen.  gotta do aLOT of walking between now and then.  id settle for 126.
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful